The second stage is much more intentional than the first. And yes, it requires work in order to keep emotional love alive.
However, for those who make the effort to transition from stage one to two, the rewards are astounding.
As a young marriage counsellor, I began to discover that what makes one person feel loved does not necessarily make another person feel loved;
And when couples come down off the in love emotional high, they often miss each other in their efforts to express love.
She says, ” I feel like he doesn’t love me;’ and he says, I don’t understand that. I work hard. I keep the car clean. I mow the grass every weekend. I help her around the house. I don’t know what else she wants”.
She responds, “He does all those things. He is a hard working man:’ Then with tears in her eyes she says, “But we don’t ever talk.”
Every one has a primary love language and seldom do a husband and wife have the same love language.
By nature we tend to speak our own language. Whatever makes us feel loved is what we do for the other person.
But if it is not his/her language, it will not mean to them what it means to us.
To be continued…