How To Control Anger Before It Controls You

Anger is an emotion directed toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.

It is a normal, usually healthy emotion we all experience. But when it gets out of hand, it can cause problems in all our relationships, and in the overall quality of our lives. It can also make us feel like we are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

When you get angry, it affects your heart rate, blood pressure level, your energy, hormones and adrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could either be angry at a specific person or an event (a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of a terrible past can also trigger angry feelings.

Due to the fact that anger has the capacity to destroy an individual, here are 10 tips to help you control your anger. These tips could go a long way in helping you remain calm.

1. Think

 In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret so, take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Remain calm

 As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Take a walk

 Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Find ways to solve the problem

 Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening  or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.


6. Avoid the Blame game

 To avoid placing blame which might only increase tension. Make use of “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific.
For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes,” instead of, “You never do any housework.”

7. Forgive quickly

 Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

8.Make use of humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, it can hurt feelings and make things worse.


9. Find ways to relax

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

 Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Try seeking help for anger issues. If your anger seems out of control and causes you to do things you regret, it will hurt those around you so make the decision to seek help.

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