3 Ways To Act When “Toasted” As A Lady ~ Olabisi Adebiyi @iamoluyele

Hello everyone,

What a title right? This post is definitely for the ladies.

So I remember when I first hit my teenage years and everything about me was ALIVE!!! I mean I was aware of practically everything! Especially boys!! It was like they never existed before and when they speak, I was like, oh my gosh. This dude gets me completely (We know that’s not entirely true)

In my days, boys did not have the gumption to walk up to a lady and talk. They had to succumb to several methods like holding your hand and hoping that passes the message across, scratching the middle part of your palm, walking in front of you and acting all smooth and suave (I still think some of this methods used in this times, maybe a little more refined though).

I did not know how to respond when a guy would ask me out. My tongue would be pasted on the roof of my mouth and nothing came out. It was embarrassing because boys just walked past me after a while. After many failed attempt to being clueless, I finally got it.

This is not a 6 steps to handling your numerous toasting experience and I would like to believe that today’s post cuts across all ages. As long as you’re a woman, I would like to believe that this would help you.

1. DON’T BE IN A HURRY TO DATE. Everyone gives out projections about themselves. Biology would call it pheromones. If you give out the ‘I really want to experiment dating’ vibe, that’s what you get. Instead, why not decide to be friends with people and get to know them well enough before considering to date. You may be surprised that the more you get to know a person, the less you like about that person or vice versa.

2. MAKE SURE THE MAN TOASTING YOU SAYS EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS. Sometimes, we are too quick to jump to why a guy would approach us. That just us being girls. But why not let him talk and be specific about what he wants. For example, a guy tells a girl, I want to get to know you better. instead of you thinking he’s asking you to be his girl, why not simply ask ‘In what capacity’? It is at this point he would say either as a friend or as something more. If he isn’t specific, then maybe he doesn’t know what he wants so no point getting all ‘mushy’ over that one.

3. UNDERSTAND THE VALUE OF PURPOSE. For every person that comes into your life, there is a purpose to their coming. Maybe they are to be your friends or maybe they are to be a lesson to you as someone never to be like or get close to. It could be anything. And when the purpose of a thing isn’t known, abuse is inevitable – Myles Munroe.

Let me put this here… You do not HAVE to date every guy you meet. There are people in our lives for seasons or a lifetime. Your relationship with God would be able to help you determine which.

So I trust that I have been able to help a lady here today?

PS: This was inspired by a new ‘toasting’ experience I had some days ago.

And the men can most definitely learn from this too.


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