I’ve always wondered what sex would be like. Would it be awkward? Amazing? Mind blowing like I’ve always heard? Would sex boost my esteem? Would everyone know I just had intercourse when I emerge from the room? Would it boost my masculinity and add to my GPA?
I remember that time when my close friends said they had every intention of locking me up in a room with a girl they would hire and pay to have sex with me. They couldn’t imagine how a grown man with strands of hair on his chin still be a virgin. To them, it was absolutely absurd. They wanted to put a firm grip on my fragile personality and initiate me into the league of extraordinary men with tales of sexual escapades trailing behind me like smoke oozing out from a beat up car.
Luckily for me, they never got around to initiating their plan as I to traveled back home from school. It wasn’t until months later that I got to find out about their plans. Well, they told me themselves.
I have always wondered what God’s plan for sex is. God invented sex. He has a will and plan for sex and sexual orientation. Those things didn’t spin out from creation by mistake or cosmic accident. There was a distinct purpose and He didn’t keep the purpose to himself. It’s written in his word. In other words, we don’t have to figure out things out on our own. Thank goodness (and thank God).
Even as Christians, there are times when our ignorance and disobedience leads us to figure things out on our own Or, we put our faith in setting up systems based on prevention – on building fences. But even properly fenced sheep still need a shepherd to lead them toward greener pastures. The fences are important, but they’re incomplete.
As a result, there have been some mixed messages from God’s people in regard to His will for sex. There have been churches and individual Christians who, from time to time, contribute to the discussion in a way that actually causes confusion rather than clarity.
For example, conversations within the church about sex have, at times, become focused on the avoidance of consequences. Well-meaning people, pastors, and parents often use “don’t” as a primary theme when they talk about sex.
Don’t have sex before marriage because you’ll get pregnant.
Don’t have sex before marriage because you’ll get a disease.
Don’t have sex before marriage because you’ll develop a bad reputation.
Such a message is all about avoiding consequences instead of honouring God. As a result, many people have come to believe that if they can avoid the consequences connected with sexual activities, their actions really aren’t that bad. People have grown up with the idea that birth control will take care of everything – that they should follow their urges as long as they can do so without other people finding out.
That’s not what God intended. The goal of the gospel is not to manage our sin, but to defeat it and to find life. Jesus’ death on the cross calls us to the “more” of abundant life – not just to keeping consequences at bay.
Instead of don’t, our conversations about sex and sexuality should be framed by do.
Do honour the Lord.
Do walk in purity.
Do discover the best God has for you and wait until you’re ready to receive it.
Let’s state what we’re for rather than only what we’re against. The Bible doesn’t mince words about behaviour that falls short of the ideal. Jesus, particularly, made his views plain. Though he never married, he spoke with absolute authority (like an inventor) against abuses like fornication (sex between people who are not married) and adultery. Virgins are uniquely able to give their total selves to love in a marriage. That’s why “the first time” is such a big deal.
It’s not easy to resist the temptations and pressures to have sex before marriage. But if you want to experience sex the way God meant for it to be, the surest way is to experience no other kind of sex. It’s tough to wait for, certainly. But most good things are.
Well, it’s sort of late for me right now seeing as I just had sex with Naya…
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- Episode 1 (You’re Positive). Read HERE
- Episode 2 (I’m Going To Die). Read HERE
- Episode 3 (The Long Walk). Read HERE
- Episode 4 (Naya To The Rescue). Read HERE
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