Amy

I’ve been having tough conversations with my dad (who is a Marriage & Family Life Expert by the way)… So you have an idea of paths where our discussions are usually headed. Yes, they’ve been pretty tough moments for me, because in as much as I have the most understanding and free parents there is, it’s taken me forever to get to sharing issues with them, especially personal issues and those pertaining to relationships.

So we’ve had these off and on talks, where I find myself trying to speak, and then in just a flash, the covering is back up and I just can’t find the words. I have always hidden behind my pen, experienced life and even when it bites, I swallow the pain and cling to the only being who tends to understand my need for space and silence… Jesus.

Our parents are guardians chosen by God for us, and so, we should be free to allow them be that. Guard us. Right?

But they tend to have more control while we’re still dependent babies, and as we grow older, that grip loosens up, because we begin to feel we’re fine on our own.

Having said this, it is no wonder I was drawn to Lexy as I read through book 2 of the Angels Walking Series by Karen Kingsbury – Chasing Sunsets. I look at our hood, and no matter how fancy or street-like it is, we still find lots of Lexy’s around. They’ve lived so much around evil and the tough life that they never believe there’s something better out there.

Some fall in the class of low living standards, but for others, wealth isn’t even their problem. They’ve lived in the sphere life has provided them and it’s all they’ve ever known. They seek nothing more, no matter how hurt or broken they are.

In one of my discussions with my father, I said, “I’ve never known what it feels like to be with the right guy, maybe that’s why those who seem too good to be true are never given a chance at my heart because they’re what they are… too good to be true.

It doesn’t mean I’ve never been with good guys. But putting my imperfect me into consideration, it’s fair enough to say none of them were right for me. The same way girls like Lexy are drawn to Dwayne, I’m worried we’re no longer attractants to the men and women God has proposed for us.

God could send a Marcus my way, but the question is… Am I able to allow him? It’s time we break away from all that we’ve allowed to define us.

Mary Catherine reminded me of my dad. God’s gift to me. Because if not for these people who allow themselves to be Angels sent by God, I’d have turned out to be Lexy. Broken and torn. His love, patience and persistence reminds me of God’s unconditional love. A love that keeps on working until it breaks through your broken cracked walls, picking up the pieces and not only mending them together, but making you whole again.

My father plays this role. He is an epitome of Love unconditional. As I’ve grown older, even though I’ve never understood how such love could reside in humans, I remind myself that yes, just like the scripture says, “there still will be 7,000 men who haven’t bowed down to Baal.” There still will be someone who is a true epitome of all that God is. And each time I look at that one person, I know for reals that God is. Plus each time I want to live like I’m all on my own, with no one who cares, I remember my parents, sent by God, imperfect people with a perfect love for me.

Jesus came to us in a colour we couldn’t fathom… It wasn’t about the colour of His skin, it was about the colour of His Love…

You cannot break through man’s broken, cracked wall… Love Can!

So I ask you, what is the colour of your Love? Unconditional???

Everywhere I look beyond the clouds, I see light, because I am surrounded by Love.

So here’s my Flicker of Hope…

Life they say
Is not a bed of roses…
Maybe I’ve had my fair share of the thorns that lay beneath.
Take a look at my eyes
Roam through those thoughts of mine
And you will be familiarized with the many memories that lay therein.
Walk through the trails that I’ve walked
And you’ll see the many wrong paths that I’ve crossed.
Look sternly at my hands
And you’ll see the many deeds that I’ve done.
But as you look closer and closer
Hold them firmer and firmer.
‘Cause therein lies my flicker of hope
In the warmth of your hold and embrace.
I find a reason to be me again.
As you now search deep in my eyes
You see more of the vision that lay ahead.
And as you now hold firmly to my hand
You and I together could walk new paths
Erasing all the ways of old.
And I could begin to pick up the roses.
One after the other.
One step at a time.
And maybe one day
I’d have enough roses
To lay that bed of mine
And just in a flicker or more…
I’ll find Hope some more…

~ Aimee

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